Lesbian Vampire Killers

by Kirstyn Smith

The first thing to look out for is the number of lone, shifty-looking men in the auditorium. I don’t know what this anticipative audience expects from a film called Lesbian Vampire Killers, but I’ve a feeling they left feeling a bit disappointed.

Unfortunately, they weren’t the only ones. To give the film the benefit of the doubt, I looked upon it from two different perspectives.

At worst – and if you are a girl – the derogation and disparagement was astounding. Although I’m sure this will be explained away as ‘post-modern’ chauvinism, I noticed my feminist side rearing its head on a number of occasions, as I felt vaguely insulted throughout.

At best, I can simply describe it as an unoriginal, laddish film. I imagine that even those solitary, hopeful men might grow weary of so many gratuitous close-ups of hot lesbians stroking each other.

A strange, stacatto way of shooting is employed, and while at first this is interesting and different, it is not consistent, so when it returns intermittently throughout the film, this does begin to grate – something else we don’t need to distract us from an already weak plot. Whether this technique – along with some woefully bad acting from the lesbians – is supposed to be a spoof remains unclear. I hope, for the sake of everyone involved, that I’m missing something.

Horne and Corden seem to have fallen foul of ‘Mitchell and Webb’ syndrome: while resplendent on TV, (Gavin and Stacey is a very good show) this does not translate to film. However, they are still relative newcomers, but I do feel that – for just now at least – they should stick to the small screen.

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